Rules of Payne by Elizabeth Lynx Blog Tour

Morgana Drake has some problems in her life.

Problem #1: She has a boss she hates. Truth be told everyone at her company hates him, he’s a jerk.
Problem #2: Morgana fantasizes and has sex dreams about her awful boss because he is just sooo good looking. She may have done a lot more than fantasize, but please don't tell anyone.
Problem #3: She wants to get into her company’s Executive Development Program, but there is one thing standing in her way. You guessed it, her boss.
Problem #4: Morgana needs to get laid by someone other than her boss. She feels if she likes someone else she will stop lusting after Henrik Payne.

Henrik Payne is very serious about his job. He has worked hard for over ten years to become VP of Sales and Marketing and make Mimir the third largest online retailer. He has rules he follows to make sure the company and his life run smoothly.

Rule #1: Know the company from the ground up and the people who make this place great.
Rule #2: Don’t do anything that might negatively affect the company or him.
Rule #3: It’s best not to date women. If he does, they are to be kept at a distance. Emotions cloud judgment and can cause harm to the company if he is with the wrong woman and reveals too much.
Rule #4: Don’t drink. It weakens people's resolve, makes them act ridiculous and can make them do horrible things. Things that can’t be undone.

So, why does he keep breaking all his rules?

Book 1
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His laughter fills the large room we have entered. There are two tan sofas with a huge brown suede chair facing a fireplace so big I could walk into it. I now want to live in that fireplace -- provided no one ever starts it up again. On either side of the massive fireplace is a wall of windows overlooking Lake Michigan.

I press my face to the glass and stare at the misty fog and choppy waves below.

"Can I marry your apartment? I promise to let you have visiting rights but I think I want to put a ring on it."

I watch his reflection come up beside me in the glass and feel the vibration from his laughter as he leans on the window.

"For what it's worth Morgana, I did look forward to our online chats. You always made me laugh, not many people can do that. As for marrying my place I thought you said once you were marrying cake. Are you two-timing now?"

I turn my face from the glass, realizing I just smeared lipstick on it. Trying to cover my smudge I rub my sleeve on the window, making it worse.

"I can lead a double life. Cake on the weekends and this apartment during the week. Cake will never find out.”

Henrik nods and pulls a tissue from his pocket and wipes away the smudge from the window. I feel my cheeks flame. First I spill the contents of my purse, then smudge up his window, what's next? Will I accidentally poop on his floor? Can I be any more of a doofus?

He reaches over to cup my chin and brings it towards him. Oh my God he's going to kiss me. Do I want him to kiss me? He accused me of some terrible stuff at the coffee shop and has really screwed with my brain the past few months. It would be wise for me to back away from him and walk out that door. Oh who am I kidding, I'm far from wise. Kiss away Henrik!

I close my eyes and start to pucker my lips when I feel something brushing my chin. Oh, he likes to start slow. Okay I can get into that. There is another brush of my cheek and I moan to help him along.

"Did I press too hard Morgana?"

"Oh no Henrik it felt just right. I..." I open my eyes to see him with the tissue trying to wipe my cheek. Suddenly it occurs to me I have smeared lipstick on my face. He's being gentlemanly and cleaning it up, while I moan and tell him how right it feels. Please kill me.

Reviews by the Wicked Reads Review Team

Shelby – ☆☆☆
Rules of Payne was a cute, quick, relatively fast paced book.
This story flowed well, even though it wasn't written like a traditional story. The first half was Morgana's point of view and explained a lot of the situation up to the current time. I enjoyed her character and her fearlessness – she's sassy, sarcastic, and full of life.
Being a 20-something single, career oriented woman has put Morgana out of the "social" scene. Crushing on her boss doesn't help matters, and she's diverted to a dating website – I found this to be the highlight of the story!
Yes, there were a few humorous moments but not of the laugh-out-loud variety, more like a giggle here and there.

The second half of the book was from Henrik Payne's point of view. Payne being just that, a PAIN, he's also Morgana's boss (and her source of frustration). He seems uptight, regimented, and very 1 dimensional. Their banter is entertaining, but I never felt the chemistry between the two characters.

The book ends on a major cliff-hanger, which the author does warn about, and I most definitely want to know how everything is resolved! Overall, I rate this 3.5 stars for entertainment value.


Angela – ☆☆☆☆
I’m not exactly sure of how to review this book. Rules of Payne is a hot mess of a book, but I mean that in a good way. When you read the blurb you clearly see that Morgana has problems, while Henrik has rules. It is where their problems and rules intersect that makes their relationship a hot mess and the book an entertaining read – at least for me. I will warn you that you need to have a slightly bent sense of humor to fully enjoy the book, but if you do and can read a book without taking it too seriously then Rules of Payne may be well worth the read.

The first part of the book is told from Morgana’s perspective as we learn what her “Problems” are and there are more than what is outlined in the blurb. Simply put, her boss is an @$$hole. Her friend/roommate is a well-meaning idiot. Her family is nuts – she seems to be the sane member of the family and that’s just a scary prospect. And while her job, her roommate, and her family are stressing her out, at least she is able to find some calm chatting with the guy she met on an online dating site. Their conversations are amusing and grounding and full of red flags for anyone who is NOT Morgana – this includes the reader. Understandably she is excited when Rik finally agrees to meet in person. It wasn’t hard to figure out where the date was headed, but that had more to do with Morgana’s luck in life than anything. At least the sex was mind-blowingly hot before Rik cut and run.

And now we switch to the second half of the book, which is told from Mr. Payne’s perspective. First off I want to say that I REALLY hope that we find out in the next book what is behind the animosity between Mr. Payne and Ms. Bechmann. Mr. Payne’s part of the book backtracks four months to the day that Morgana interviewed to become his assistant. We quickly learn that while Mr. Payne is indeed an arse of epic proportions, his behavior toward Morgana is because he was attracted to her immediately and in trying to maintain a professional relationship (because we can’t have another sexual harassment suit – he swears it wasn’t his fault) he comes off as an even bigger @$$hole to Morgana. But we also learn what Henrik is like away from the office and find out that he has the ability to be exceedingly nice and caring. Once their stories realign we continue with Mr. Payne’s perspective and watch as he struggles – unsuccessfully – to keep his distance from Morgana. Sadly they don’t even make it to London before his will weakens and things just go downhill from there as he proves why it’s a good idea NOT to drink around Morgana. Let’s just say it’s a good thing he’s friends with the bosses and good at his job. But right before the author decides to gut-punch the readers and drop-kick us the cliff, Morgana and Payne engage in one spectacularly hot sex scene that one can only hope will tide them over until the next installment in the Cake Love series is released – and for the love of cake, please hurry Ms. Lynx.

Elizabeth Lynx is not a robot, that’s for sure. At least she says she’s not. She is also not a space alien. How do I know this, because she was born in Baltimore Maryland in the 1970’s when no one wanted to be in Baltimore Maryland so why would her parents say that if it weren't true. Of course she has had her suspicions growing up and is still in a continual search for evidence that backs up her space age theories.

To bide her time she writes about ‘normal’ people and their sexy romantic lives. Her husband chooses to put up with her theories and paranoid musings. Her two little boys help her see that perhaps she isn't an alien but more of a climbing rock. This theory is new, so she needs more time to develop it further.

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Reviewers on the Wicked Reads Review Team were provided a free copy of Rules of Payne (Cake Love #1) by Elizabeth Lynx to read and review for this tour.