When
workaholic Lawrence Weller walks in on the aftermath of his fiancé Frankie
cheating on him, his world shatters. Frankie’s the love of his life, the only
person he’s ever trusted, and the betrayal leaves him devastated.
Franklin Ennis makes a huge mistake he regrets deeply before it’s even over. He
pleads for a second chance, willing to do whatever it takes to save their
relationship.
A love that deep doesn’t just stop, so Lawrence agrees to try. But mistakes
don’t happen in a vacuum. Are they both willing to own up to their part? Will
their love be enough to repair what was crushed? Can trust once broken be
rebuilt?
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You never told me you were lonely,” I say.
“I did!” His protest is loud and takes some of the defeat from his body. “I’ve told you a thousand times. How I miss you when you’re always working late and wish we could do more stuff together.”
I knit my eyebrows together, trying to think back and remember. He’s right. He always hugs me tightly and tells me how much he’ll miss me when he knows I’ll work late. Or how he wishes we could do something together, even if it’s only watching a show while cuddling on the couch.
“I thought that was your way of showing me how you feel about me. You being sweet and caring. Not once did I think it meant ‘I’m so fucking lonely I’ll suck someone else’s dick.’ Was it even your first time?” The question is a pained scream, hurting my throat, my head, my soul. I don’t like yelling, so I take a deep breath and start counting to ten in my head to calm down, but I’m interrupted before even reaching three.
“Of course, it was the first time,” he roars. “I’m not a cheater.”
His words are a thundercrack in an otherwise dead silent apartment, and I rear back, scramble off the couch, and turn to leave.
“No. Please.” He’s pleading now, voice cracked and bleeding out on the floor. “Please don’t leave me, Lawrence. I’ll do anything. I love you so much, don’t leave me.”
I’m frozen on the spot. Undecided. The hurt, overly-dramatic part of me wants to storm off in a huff, throw some stuff in a bag, and retreat somewhere to lick my wounds, and rage and scream and curse the treachery, while wailing out my broken heart. But the other, more rational part of me won’t let me move, the part that still remembers how much I love him, still remembers his loving kisses, his devotion. His passion.
So I sink back down on the couch. Rub my palms over my face and swallow. “I don’t know what to do here, Frankie. I’m hurt and betrayed, but at the same time I just can’t turn off my feelings for you. But how can I be with you if I can’t trust you?”
“You can trust me. You can.” He’s so sincere, so heartfelt, leaning forward – hands twitching so he shoves them between his knees – begging, willing me to believe him. And I want to. I really do.
“How?”
“I’ve never done anything like this before, never kissed anyone, hardly ever looked at anyone like that. It was ahuge mistake and I regret it. So, so much. I know I can’t prove it, but I was going to tell you. That’s what I was worried about when you walked in. How I would tell you. How you’d react. If you’d hate me.”
I must look skeptical because he hurries to continue. “I know. It’s easy to say when there’s no way of proving intent. But I’m not a liar. You know I’m not.”
“Do I?” I push out the question around the lump in my throat.
He slides to his knees on the floor in front of me, sits back on his heels, and tries to catch my gaze. I give in to his silent pleas and meet his eyes.
“You know me, Lawrence. You know you do. You know what kind of person I am. I’m only human and make mistakes like everyone. This one was huge and more stupid than most, I know that. I’m not perfect, but I’m not a liar. I’m not disloyal. And I own my mistakes.” His face is open. He blinks away tears, but his gaze never falters. His hands rest on his knees, palms open and turned up, and everything about him invites me to see the honesty in his heart.
And maybe I can see it. The slight tremble of his hand and the pulse fluttering visibly in his neck betrays his anxiousness, but he doesn’t move. Doesn’t squirm or fidget, doesn’t look away from me. Nothing indicates that he’s lying.
There’s no way he’s that skilled a liar. He’s always been open and honest and prone to blurting his emotions as soon as he experiences them. That thought deflates me and I fall back against the couch.
“Yeah, I know. I believe you.” And I do. At least my head knows. I’m not sure about my heart. Or my gut, rather.
His eyes well up and a tremble racks his body, but it’s the sight of his wobbly chin that finally cracks me. I hold out my hand, unable to not touch him anymore. “Come here.”
Angela – ☆☆☆☆☆
First thing’s first. If infidelity is a hard limit for you, this is so not the
book for you. The whole premise of Regaining Trust is whether or not Lawrence
and Frankie can salvage their relationship after Law walks in on Frankie after
he’s cheated. Is the old adage, ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater,’ true? Or
can they learn from their mistakes, learn to trust one another again, and come
out stronger on the other side?
I feel like I need to disclose the fact that I’m asexual and that’s because it
directly impacts my thoughts on sex and cheating. For me, sex is merely a
bodily function that needs to be addressed from time to time and doesn’t require
an emotional connection to my partner – it absolutely can, and has, but it’s
not necessary. So for me, cheating in a relationship would be more of an emotional
betrayal than a physical one and it’s what made Regaining Trust a
fascinating read for me because I had to wait with Law to hear Frankie’s
confessions and learn how events unfolded to determine whether Frankie’s
betrayal was emotional or physical, from my point of view, and how Law would ultimately
respond to it.
As I read the book, I made notes of things that stood out to me and I wrote the
rest of this paragraph about midway through the story and had no idea just how
right I was. My biggest sticking point in Frankie’s cheating – and the reason I
felt he was deserving of a second chance – was how the circumstances unfolded
that led to the actual cheating. I do not absolve Frankie of his
responsibility, but as we learn about the events of that night, it felt more
and more like Frankie’s supposed best friend took advantage of a situation to
not only put the players in place, but actively encouraged Frankie to cheat.
This is not the behavior of a good friend, much less a best friend. All of my
besties throughout my lifetime would have stepped in to stop me from making
such a huge mistake, not cheered me on to do it. With what I learned about the
kind of person Frankie is over the course of the novel, I don’t think he would
have gone out and actively looked to cheat on Law. So while he ultimately made
the decision to cheat, I don’t think it would have happened had his alleged best
friend not set the events in motion.
As I said, I found Regaining Trust to be a fascinating read, especially
as we got to see the aftermath of the cheating from both Law and Frankie’s
points of view. And though I didn’t go into it in my review, I found Law’s
reactions to the cheating just as intriguing, especially how his childhood
experiences affected his responses. This was a great look at human nature,
which appeals to my degree in psychology and is why I gave it five stars. While
I won’t tell you how the events played out, I will tell you that in all of my
reading of Nell Iris’ books, I’ve yet to encounter one that didn’t end in a happy
ending. What Law and Frankie’s happy ending looks like, well you’ll have to
read it for yourself to find out, but I for one was quite pleased with it.
Nell Iris is a romantic at heart who
believes everyone deserves a happy ending. She’s a bona fide bookworm (learned
to read long before she started school), wouldn’t dream of going anywhere
without something to read (not even the ladies room), loves music (and singing
along at the top of her voice but she’s no Celine Dion), and is a real Star
Trek nerd (Make it so). She loves words, bullet journals, poetry, wine,
coffee-flavored kisses, and fika (a Swedish cultural thing involving coffee and
pastry!)
Nell believes passionately in
equality for all regardless of race, gender or sexuality, and wants to make the
world a better, less hateful, place.
Nell is a bisexual Swedish
woman married to the love of her life, a proud mama of a grown daughter, and is
approaching 50 faster than she’d like. She lives in the south of Sweden where
she spends her days thinking up stories about people falling in love. After
dreaming about being a writer for most of her life, she finally was in a place
where she could pursue her dream and released her first book in 2017.
Nell Iris writes gay romance,
prefers sweet over angsty, short over long, and quirky characters over alpha
males.
Connect with Nell
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Hosted by
Reviewers on the Wicked Reads Review Team were provided
a free copy of Regaining Trust by Nell Iris to read and review for this tour.
